Building Confidence in Asking Questions During Meetings

To overcome a fear of asking questions in meetings, you first need to believe that asking questions will add value to the meeting. Many people avoid asking questions because they are afraid of looking foolish or holding everyone up. In reality, not asking questions is more foolish and can cost more time in the long run. Before the meeting, ask yourself, “If I were to ask one question at this meeting, what question would it be?” The question could be based on an agenda item or a document that you were sent before the meeting.

For example, “How does the new timeline affect the deliverables for phase two?” Then practice asking it before the meeting. Don’t wait until the end of the meeting to ask your question. Many people save their questions for the end of a meeting. This is a terrible idea, because everyone is ready to go, and they are no longer focused on the topic you are asking about. If you ask your question at the end of a meeting, people will rush to give you an answer, and you may not get the best response. Ask your question as soon as you think of it.

Say something like, “Sorry to interrupt, just to make sure I understand…” or “Excuse me, just to clarify before we proceed…” Asking your question as soon as you think of it helps ensure that you get a good answer. It also shows that you are engaged and care about what is being discussed. Say it, don’t spray it. If you do need to ask a question, make sure you ask just one question at a time. If you have a long, rambling question that includes three or four questions, you will confuse the other participants. They won’t know how to respond to your question, because you asked too many things at once. For example, “Can you explain how this will affect the team, and will we need to add more people?

How will it affect our deadline; will we need to push that back a month or more?” Practice asking questions. Choose a meeting that you have coming up in the next day or two. Read through the agenda and any supporting documentation that was sent to you. Can you think of at least three questions to ask at the meeting based on the information you have? Write the questions down. Now practice reciting them. Try to sound confident. Practice using a recorder or smartphone app so you can listen to how you sound. Are you using filler words (like “um”)? Are you speaking clearly? Now ask yourself if the questions sound good. Are they concise? Do they sound respectful? Rewrite any questions that don’t sound good when you replay them.

Once you have polished your questions, practice responding to a potential answer. How would you respond if someone gave you a three-minute answer to one of your questions? Could you distill that answer down into something like, “Just to make sure I understand, will we be moving the deliverable to the next quarter?” Practice your questions, the answers you might receive, and the follow-up questions you would ask. Reserve ten to fifteen minutes in the late afternoon for deliberate question practice. Take turns asking the questions, listening to the potential response in your head, and asking a follow-up questions. Repeat the circuit again without stopping.

If you practice asking questions on a regular basis, you will find that it isn’t nearly as hard or scary as you thought. Eventually, you will find that you are comfortable asking questions in meetings. Until then, you can always fall back on your practiced questions. If you need to ask a question in a meeting, use the first question you practiced that day. It will help you remember how to confidently ask for clarification in a meeting.